NEW QUOTES ARE IN BOLD
Concerning the show Cops: "I like the
domestic disputes."
(While among a pile of 100socks)
"I really like my pile of socks...they
kinda sooth me. They're my friends.
I've had them around a long time."
"Kiss my big fat Mammogram!"
"I'm giving up this sock soon. I've been
talking about the day for months now
when I would leave this sock behind...
Has the day come? No, not yet, but it
draws ever closer. Just as our own
day draws closer.
John:"Did you know Emily slept late
today?"
Mom:"Yeah. Until 4pm. Why don't you
beat her up?"
John:"Why would I do that ? I'm not
her mom.
Mom:"I'm not either!"
Mom talking to Katie: "Katie, you
and I should move to Mongolia
together. It keeps coming up in
this book and I think it is a sign.
Katie: "Mom, you're looking at an
atlas."
Mom in the bathroom:"Who left
this hair dryer in her to be
murdered?"
Mom"You better get good scholarships to
college."
Emily:"What if I don't want to go to college?"
Mom:"Then you'll end up shuffling Suave
Shampoo."
Emily:"Shuffle?"
Mom:"Yeah, you know...shuffle cards, shuffle
your feet, shuffle Suave Shampoo."
Emily: "Mom, I'm exactly like you.
What the hell am I supposed to
do?"
Mom: "Learn to balance a bucket
on your head and move to
Ethiopia."